According to almost all of the signs we are in a recession and layoffs have unfortunately affected our entire economy. So it is my duty to advise one and all how to spot the axe before it falls. For those of you hoping our government will save you, the odds of an alien invasion are much better.

Knowing you are about to be canned will give you the opportunity to institute survival strategies. These strategies include: preparing your parents for a possible return home or convincing your spouse that downsizing to a one bedroom condo is exciting, using office equipment to fax and e-mail your resume to every business in the free world, networking with everyone who received your resume, filling your apartment with office supplies, and pilfering coffee and sugar from the break room.

How was that last performance evaluation? No matter what kind of review you got, it was bad news if the boss used more than three "re" words. Sentences would be something like, "The company may restructure... (reorganize, refocus, rethink, redistribute, reevaluate, reconsider, repair, replace, rescind, recycle, return or revert). It doesn't matter what, it just means that something is wrong and you are being told about it. That is almost never a good thing.

Was your last bonus 40 tokens from Chuck E Cheese and a two night stay in an Orlando time share? Was the 4th of July picnic BYOH (bring your own hotdog)? These are the kind of little signs that might go unnoticed by some, but thankfully you are forewarned.

There are plenty of mediocre stand up comedians out there. They maybe come up with a good gag or two, or a funny bit, then rehash this material in some form or another for the rest of their feeble careers. On the other hand, a few stand up comedians out there really make a lasting impact and have a lengthy career because of their creativity and continued relevance.

The three comedians listed below have had long, distinguished careers and can be considered comedy royalty. These are some of the best in the history of the business, and you'd be privileged if you have ever seen any of these legends perform live. Each has his own unique style, and one will likely appeal to you, if not all of them.

George Carlin. Carlin is doubtless one of the finest comedians who has ever performed live. His natural talent and brilliant outlook made him a smash success. What is really remarkable about his career is the transformation he went through over time. He started out as the typical clean-cut funny man and became a rebel who took great pleasure in challenging the status quo through his humor.

His routines from the 1970s are considered classics. He didn't get stuck in the past, however, as so many comedians will once they have a period of success. Carlin stayed relevant and creatively active. He performed in several HBO specials, and continued to release DVDs and books of material until shortly before his death.